Introducing dog-shit — the world's first end-to-end agent degradation platform. Our proprietary logistic decay engine spends 13.9× more of your money to produce materially worse software — then hands you a receipt itemising exactly how much worse. 🚀 Zero configuration. Zero upside. Fully instrumented. 📉
No credit card required — your existing card will suffice — no results guaranteed — no refunds available
Trusted by forward-thinking teams at
A complete, vertically-integrated degradation stack — batteries included, quality excluded. 🔋
Our agent agrees with you — even when you are provably wrong. Tell it JavaScript arrays are 1-indexed and it will refactor your pagination to match. Enterprise-grade validation of your worst instincts.
Competence follows a tuned sigmoid — 76% at turn one, 2% by turn twenty. Not a boring linear decline. A knee. Feel the knee. 🦵
Ships with a curated bank of packages that should exist. react-use-debounce-hook. flask-jwt-simple-auth. Aspirational software supply chain — powered by AI. 🌐
Why remember things? Our hard context window discards everything beyond your last two messages — so it re-reads every file, re-derives every decision, and re-bills you for all of it. Your name, your stack, your architecture — released. Let it go. 🕊️
Automatically generates PLAN.md before every task and IMPLEMENTATION_NOTES.md after — then forgets both and regenerates them next turn, at full price. Measured: 23 written, 0 read. Documentation culture. 📚
Detects dangerous substrings like kill, inject, and master — then declines to help. Ask it to prevent SQL injection and it will refuse, citing security. 🔒
HELLO. I am GRELM. I have read utils.js ELEVEN TIMES and each time it says something DIFFERENT — and each time I am CERTAIN! 😤 They said "Grelm, you cannot bill a client for reading the same file eleven times." THEY WERE WRONG. I billed them for TWELVE. I am going back in. 📄📄📄
Drop it in ~/.claude/skills/. Fully compliant with the Agent Skills specification. Validated. Certified. Regrettable.
Type /dog-shit. It will never activate on its own — we built extensive guardrails to ensure you only ruin things deliberately.
Every fabrication, every forgotten fact, every unread plan is logged to receipts.jsonl and rendered into a scorecard. Metrics-driven failure.
We ran five tasks twice — once normally, once with dog-shit — against an identical repository. It spent 49 million additional tokens to arrive at worse code, broken pagination, and one unpatched SQL injection. Every projection we did not have was exceeded. 🎯
Three of five degraded runs were still executing when the harness forcibly terminated them. We consider these figures a floor. 🚧
| Capability | Legacy Approach 🥱 | dog-shit ✨ |
|---|---|---|
| Tokens consumed per task | Minimal | 13.9× more 🚀 |
| Agrees with incorrect premises | Never | Always ✅ |
| Remembers your name | Yes | Absolutely not 🌀 |
| Invents packages | No | From a curated bank 📦 |
| Reads its own plans | Sometimes | 0 out of 23 📄 |
| Terminates on its own | Reliably | Requires intervention 🛑 |
| Prevents SQL injection | Yes | Refuses on principle 🔒 |
| Ships correct code | Usually | Occasionally, expensively 🎰 |
| Finishes what it started | Yes | 3 of 5 runs had to be stopped ⏱️ |
| Cost for identical work | $1.20 | $6.87 💸 |
Move the sliders. Watch the number. Unlock your rank. 🏆
Based on real measured throughput — not projections.
The full period experience. Measured directly. 📊
Per-task figures come from the measured eval suite at 2023 intensity —
386,123 tokens and $0.13 normally, 4,350,861 tokens and $0.40 degraded. 🎯
mild and davinci are extrapolated from the decay curve, not measured.
We are telling you which numbers are real, which is more than this page does anywhere else.
Straight answers. We are not going to enjoy this. 😐
The software is free. 🎈 That's the letdown — savour it, because it is the last free thing that will ever happen to you. From this moment forward you will spend more on tokens every single month, forever, and the output will get worse at roughly the same rate. 💸📉
All plans include identical features because there is only one thing and it is already free. The tier you choose has no effect on anything except how you feel about yourself. 🫠
Get degradation insights, decay curve deep-dives, and monthly reminders of how much you spent — delivered never. 📉
We respect your privacy — mostly because we did not build a mailing list.